True Devotion

It has been an emotional year for me. I fret about not working and wondering how the remainder of my life will unfold. My physical appearance that had always looked decades younger than my driver’s license disclosed, now show the signs of aging: gray hair, sagging skin, fine wrinkles. It is a struggle to reconcile myself to the reality that there are fewer years ahead of me than I have already lived.

I worry about my aging parents, still independent but live so very far away. My oldest niece, who has always smiled through the difficulties that life gave her, was knocked down with pneumonia this summer. Her sudden illness and slow recovery was a reminder of how quickly life can be altered when it is least expected.

On most days, I can push down these thoughts but they always remain beneath the surface waiting to re-emerge. Today, they rise up and tears flow generously. I feel alone, despite being surrounded by many good friends and family. I know that these feelings will soon pass. And if they don’t, people close to me will reassure me that all will be well.

These thoughts return me to the summer of 2011. Deer are a regular occurrence in my yard so it was not unusual to see a buck and doe coming down the hillside. The doe was limping badly, her right front leg above the hoof swollen. As she gingerly walked, the buck remained at her side. During one visit, the doe was challenged by other deer in the yard. The buck intervened allowing his injured mate to get out of the way. Throughout the summer and into the fall, the pair was inseparable. The doe’s injuries were slow to heal and I was concerned about her ability to escape the hunter’s weapon. Once bow season arrived, I did not see them again. I often wonder about them, did they escape hunting season unscathed? If so, are they still together, protecting and nurturing each other through life’s tribulations?

To be witness to such an act of devotion in what we often consider “dumb animals” brings me hope that no matter what life throws at us, there is always someone, human or non, to bring peace and love to our lives.